Farewell Pumping

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6.1.11
My healthy little guy @ 11ish months.

That’s right, I’m chucking my pump out the window and setting it on fire, after I run over it with my car a few times. Well, actually I’ve already returned it to my lactation consultant or we wouldn’t get our deposit money back. A pumping mama can dream though.

Anyone who has pumped knows how challenging it can be. Challenging is an understatement. Exclusively pumping is downright miserable…time consuming…dreadful. Oh what fun it was to hook myself up to a machine every 2-3 hours, while trying to keep a colicky baby happy. Or what about the many nights of attempting to breastfeed, bottle feeding Logan (which had a whole other set of challenges), hooking myself up to the pump, and then repeating that lovely cycle several times while trying to catch a few seconds of sleep in between. Or the many hours of pumping in my car. Oh and I wish I could forget getting mastitis not once but THREE times.

Quitting pumping is a little bittersweet. I think I always held out hope that Logan would someday breastfeed. If I kept up my supply, we still had a shot at it. I have a little jealousy towards mamas who are able to breastfeed, but I’m sure they experienced their own struggles with it. Looking back, I ask myself if I would have done anything differently in those early days (like introducing the bottle early on because of weight gain issues) and I honestly don’t think I would have. I was well informed going into breastfeeding and I just don’t think it was meant to be for us.

I do feel a twinge of guilt, or regret rather, for not being able to make it to my goal of a year. I was so close, but I just couldn’t do it anymore. Not physically and not emotionally. So, I need to be proud of the fact that I was able to make it this long. My preterm jaundiced baby grew into a healthy strong baby boy, and that was because of my hard work. He got the nutrition he needed and has only been sick once in his life. But my work (of pumping) is done and he will be just fine. Adios pumping!

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Hi, I'm Vanessa!

Welcome to See Vanessa Craft! I’m Vanessa, an MSSW and mom of two in Arizona, and I’m happy you’re here to get inspired with me. It’s my mission in life to spread creativity through crafts, recipes, travel and more in order to live a life well lived.

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